agatha speaks - remember 2B

Art

Well, yes, of course. Always. Everywhere. Everything. Beauty. Nature. Creativity.

Me.

Happiness is repetition. . .

. . . until the questions arrive.

Is this it?

Why am I here?

Why get up in the morning?

Asking, asking, inside, outside.

Outside I hear, "You must die before you die," "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater obstacles," Stay in the dangerous life that's yours--There you'll meet the face that dissolves fear."

Inside I hear, "Only listen, only see," "Life is much more than a game, it's a chance to be free," "Inside, outside--aren't the questions--and answers--going to be the same no matter where you look?," "It's the asking that keeps us alive."

Driven to examine the life.

No rest for the wicked or the weary.

Whatever happened to "Row row row your boat, life is but a dream?"

So. Art, yes. Now? The art of living. Conscious living. "This is how we wake, with wine spills on the prayer rug," visits to the chemo infusion center, "Expand your vocabulary in six short weeks!. . . squamous cell carcinoma, negative margins, greater palatine nerve, collumella, cisplatin, incisive feramen, chemo-rad . . . clear margins.

Yes, I know I could live without you but no, no, I don't want to!

I'm not nearly ready to go, I've just begun, I'm just waking, don't go yet!

And, yes, I know, too, it's not my place, not the way, for me to try to make you live my way, to influence you with my values, but just believe! Just believe in miracles, just believe in the infinite power of faith in yourself.

Ah. How many times have I written someone saying, "Oh! Perhaps those words were meant for . . . me. . . "

just believe in the infinite power of faith in yourself.

Yes, I know the only person I can change is myself, but, oh, those changes, those infinitesimal changes, are so hard. Each shift of those tectonic, Teutonic, plates, is so hard, so hard.

So. Art. The art of dying, of letting go of all those pre-conceived notions of how things should be could be would be, and allowing what I can be.

Be.

2B.

Remember 2B.

Even there, in that concrete rat maze of a parking garage, they remind me: "Remember 2B."

And so, the art of being. "Only listen, only . . .be, Love is calling, set me free." "Loving feels better than fretting." Allowing. What could be easier? Well, we know how that goes, but still, the goal: To be.

"I am here" is an answer, one of the first magnitude.

Mag-nitude. Mag-ic. Mag-net. Mag-nificent. Mag-nanimous.

"Be all that you can be."

So. Art. Yes, the Art of Being.

"What's your medium?" Me.

"Your unified body of work?" Me.

Infinite variety, infinite material, endless possibilities.

Art.

Quotes:

"Die before you die" - Rumi

"The purpose of life. . ." - Rilke

"Stay in the dangerous life . . . " - Hafiz

"This is how we wake . . ." - Hafiz

The following all by Maggie Wilson

"Only listen, only see. . ." - Love is Calling (song)

"Life is much more than a game. . . " - "The Game - Let's Pretend" (song)

"Inside, outside . . . " and "It's the asking. . . " - Emma's Search for Grace (novel in progress)

"Loving feels better than fretting" - latest motto