When I surfed the ‘net for a definition of development I found the word applies to various topics, not just a cluster of buildings as we so commonly use it today.

Development refers to improvement, as in a state in which things are improving; and to growth, as in biology: the process of an individual organism growing organically; a purely biological unfolding of events involved in an organism changing gradually from a simple to a more complex level.

And perhaps also to psychological growth or to spiritual growth.
Just a few short--or long--years ago, I wrote about “Remember 2B,” a reminder in the parking garage at UNC Hospital, about visiting the cancer center there, about learning just to love someone and not try to fix him, about learning that he didn’t need to be fixed.

I was back at UNC again this last week with my Dad.

A big switch for me, to take my Dad some place, to be the one who knew where we were going, to be the one driving. And this time, to not even have to think about trying to fix him but just be with him, remembering 2B, and appreciate him, and all he’s done for me and been to me.

And to see and appreciate all he’s helped me to be, all I am because he’s my Dad. Smart, clever, creative, persistent, able to build things, to burrow into a problem until I come up with a solution, to learn from what I see and hear and read.

My Dad. So many memories of doing things with him, going places with him. Lots of trips--north, south, east and west. Hours in the car next to him, behind him. One of my clearest images from childhood is of my Dad’s right hand on the steering wheel, his thumb firmly planted at twelve o’clock, as we rolled away along some highway.

And now it’s my turn to have my hand on the wheel as we roll along the highway.

My Dad hasn’t been one for visiting doctors or hospitals much in his life. But he’s getting up in years now and his body is not what it used to be, doesn’t cooperate the way he wants and so he’s looking for some explanations, some help in getting things back in line.

Those few years ago when I made this same trip with my husband, I wanted so badly to help him, to make him see how he could be healthier, how I had another way and it was the right way. I went through all kinds of contortions trying to make him see, trying to fix him.

That was such a hard lesson to go through for me, not to mention for him. I’m much better now, and I’m grateful, because now I can just be with my Dad, care about him, drive him where he needs to go and not have to annoy or wear either of us out by trying to change him.

Development.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad.



6/16/06,
© copyright Maggie Wilson